Individual Coaching

Each of us is organized around our important relationships. From the time we are infants until we are adults we do better when our important relationships are functioning well, and we are in stress when they are not. As young children we silently adapt ourselves to those we depend on. We grow in response to the ways that our needs for comfort and help are provided for. (And we responded to the pain or even trauma when comfort and and help were not there. ) We privately weave these early experiences into the unique fibers of ourselves. Although out of awareness, we carry these creatively woven patterns forward with us into each new relationship and phase of our life.  These patterns can serve us well and help us to have satisfying relationships and accomplishments as we move on in our lives.

Our enduring patterns lead to our way of being in relationship, how well we value ourselves, how close and connected we can be, and our general life contentment. Yet sometimes these very patterns that have let us connect in the past are what cause us problems in our relationships now. These almost invisible threads of our being are the underlying warp of our lives, and these threads are also involved when our relationships are not working. These patterns continue and we have the same kind of relationships even when we are trying to connect to people in a new way.  These invisible threads can also keep us out of relationships even when we want a satisfying intimate relationship more than anything else.

In our coaching relationship we are working towards your goal of satisfying relationships. We may start with exploring patterns in your present and past relationships. This can be an important first step to free you to make changes in how you are relating now by loosening these threads to your past connections. With understanding more of what you are doing you will be more able to change ways that you interact within your relationships. Your sense of self, your behavior, your relationships can change in deep and abiding ways. You will learn to listen to and understand yourself in increasingly useful ways. Our coaching relationship is the opportunity to do some re-weaving of parts of yourself. The effects of some of your earlier experiences can be reworked to exchange some of the limiting patterns in your particular fiber for patterns that allow you more satisfying relationships.

As your coach I will work closely with you as together we come to care for and understand the less obvious parts of you, discovering your more hidden patterns.  This is a mutual project of discovery that can be deeply meaningful and helpful in your life.